


not afraid anymore

by touch



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, FUCK these boys will be the death of me, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, M/M, anyway i love these two more than anything so here you go, goofballs in love, they're in love, this is basically just adam & ronan being soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 06:38:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/touch/pseuds/touch
Summary: Ronan pulled back slightly to look at Adam with his intense stare. It was something Adam didn’t often feel worthy of, like many things Ronan gave him: his home, his memories, his stories, his dreams, his love.Adam never knew what to do with how Ronan looked at him.





	not afraid anymore

Adam never knew what to do with how Ronan looked at him. His eyes always took their time going over Adam’s face and body as though he were something truly worthy of his attention, something holy. The face Ronan made when he pressed his lips to Adam’s stomach, just above the hem of his pants, was the same face he saw those few times he’d gone to church and witnessed Ronan pray. He furrowed his brows and whispered sacred things and dared not move too fast in his exploration of Adam’s body.

 

It was strange, Adam thought at first, to see Ronan like this in the darkness of his bedroom at the Barns. It was strange to imagine that this was the same room that Ronan had pushed through their final barrier and pressed his lips to Adam’s before backing away, giving him the precious time he knew Adam needed. It was strange to remember that night while Ronan unbuttoned Adam’s jeans and pulled them down with his boxers, moments away from bringing Adam to madness with pleasure.

 

But now, Adam was well aware of how worshipful Ronan was. Now, Ronan pressed Adam into the bed in _their_ room at the Barns, hands caressing Adam’s spine as he kissed his neck, first soft and fleeting, then intense and bruising. Now, Adam gasped and wrapped his legs around Ronan’s waist and traced the lines of the tattoo he knew better than his own skin. 

 

Then, Ronan leaned back and looked at Adam. 

 

No, he _looked_ at Adam, the same way he’d _looked_ at Adam for months before Ronan’s birthday. Adam hadn’t known what to do with his looks back then, either, but after a while, it had settled pleasantly in his stomach, keeping him up at night and holding his attention when he could spare it in the day. Ronan’s attention was always something heavy and important to Adam, and he didn’t want to make a wrong move with it or hesitate too long.

 

Under Ronan’s gaze, he felt his skin tingle. After a moment, he pressed his hands to Ronan’s chest and slid them down and hooked his fingers into the hem of his jeans. Deftly, he unbuttoned them and then moved to his own, pleading with his eyes for Ronan to move and take them off, remove the last layers between them so they could lay bare with each other. 

 

Thankfully, Ronan understood and, as always, obeyed Adam’s silent request. When they were both naked, Ronan pressed their bodies together from thigh to groin to chest to lips. Adam groaned and moved his hand over Ronan’s buzzed head, the other wrapping around Ronan’s shoulders. Ronan brought one arm to loop around Adam’s hips and brought them to his, grinding himself against Adam’s growing erection. A breath hissed passed Adam’s teeth as pleasure zinged up his spine.

 

“Ronan,” he whispered. If he spoke any louder, he felt, the moment would shatter, and Ronan would disappear. “Ronan.”

 

Ronan’s other arm had disappeared from where it had been by Adam’s head, and by the time Adam wondered where it went, he felt slick fingers against his entrance. He shivered as Ronan pressed his first finger slowly inside of Adam, groaning at the heat and tightness. He shifted the digit in and out in a steady rhythm that had Adam’s breath stuttering by the time he pressed a second against his hole.

 

By the third finger, Adam was letting out little sounds that would have made his entire body light up with shame if he weren’t so immersed in the feelings that prompted them. Each press of Ronan’s fingers punched the breath from his lungs and the intense look in Ronan’s eyes made Adam pull his face forward so he could feel that mouth on his. Just as Adam slipped his tongue into Ronan’s mouth to explore the ridges of his teeth and the softness of his own tongue, Ronan’s fingers pressed firmly against his prostate. 

 

Adam whined into Ronan’s mouth and arched into his touch, feeling a fire burn him from under his skin as Ronan continued to press and prod and stroke, pulling every gasp and moan and whimper he could. Adam’s hips moved desperately against Ronan’s hand, trying to move his fingers deeper, feel more of Ronan inside of him, gasping against his lips and clutching the sides of his face. 

 

“Ronan,” Adam begged, “please.”

 

Quietly, Ronan extracted his fingers and moved to slick his own cock. Brief nerves fluttered through Adam. This was the first time Ronan would fuck him properly. He wondered fleetingly if it would hurt when Ronan entered him, but quickly dismissed the thought. It might be uncomfortable and take a moment to adjust to, but Ronan would never hurt him. That much he knew.

 

When the head of Ronan’s cock pressed against Adam, they both held their breaths. Ronan’s hands gripped tightly at Adam’s hips as he pushed in slowly, and Adam felt his whole body tense and release as his head tilted back in a silent gasp. 

 

Ronan bottomed out and hissed immediately, “ _Fuck_ , Adam.” He held Adam’s hips on his lap as he leaned on his ankles, trying to catch his breath, hunched over so Adam could hold his head still. “ _Adam_ , Adam.” His voice was only a whisper and it shook Adam to his core. 

 

The intrusion in Adam’s body was less than comfortable, but Ronan had been careful in his preparation. Adam had been inside him enough times that he knew the extent of what Adam would need. With each second, though, Adam relaxed around him, taking shuddering breaths as he looked at Ronan’s strained form. He was very obviously not trying to move before Adam was ready and hurt him, and through the haze in his mind, Adam thanked him silently. 

 

Oddly enough, it reminded Adam of their first kiss, too. Ronan directing and giving Adam space until he was ready. Adam’s heart swelled.

 

It took a few moments, but Adam brushed his thumb across Ronan’s cheek and told him, “You can move.” His accent slipped through his mouth without his permission, lengthening and shortening his words into _yew cen moove_. Ronan released a harsh breath and nodded, moving his hips barely back only to press into Adam once more, deeper somehow. 

 

Just like that, Ronan settled into a smooth rhythm, shallow but firm, forcing small sounds out of Adam each time. Adam was quickly overcome with sensation as his body lit up with each pass of Ronan’s cock inside of him. It felt so good, better than he could’ve imagined. He’d always thought Ronan was just sensitive when Adam fucked him, letting out strings of profanity and praise that made Adam blush down his shoulders. Now, though, he understood. He felt like Ronan was _everywhere_ , and it was intoxicating. 

 

“Ronan,” Adam moaned. “Ronan, fuck, you feel so good, you’re so good.”

 

Ronan pulled his hips back until only the head was inside of Adam and then pushed his hips back quickly. Adam’s back bowed and he let out a noise he didn’t know he could’ve made without it being a joke. Ronan wrapped his arms around Adam’s torso, moving him against his body and bringing himself down to press kisses and groans into the skin of Adam’s stomach. 

 

“Parrish – Adam,” Ronan breathed. Adam felt his voice in every inch of his body. “I’m close.”

 

So was Adam, he only needed a little push. Adam moved his limp hand to fist his own cock, cursing before whispering, “Come on, Ronan, come inside me.”

 

With that, Ronan’s hips stuttered and he shoved his face into Adam’s skin as he released warmth into Adam, a helpless groan pushing itself from his throat. The feeling of Ronan coming, his sounds, his still moving hips, it all hit Adam at once and he moved his hand faster over himself, coming in hot stripes on his stomach when it became too much. 

 

Slowly, they stopped moving and their bodies felt burnt and run dry. Ronan pressed a soft kiss to Adam’s belly as he pulled out, shushing Adam’s whine of disapproval and moving up to kiss him soundly. They wrapped themselves in each other once more despite the heat as they helped each other down from the high of their orgasms. They whispered their _I love you_ ’s and kept each other close and breathed each other in.

 

Eventually Ronan pulled back slightly to look at Adam with his intense stare. It was something Adam didn’t often feel worthy of, like many things Ronan gave him: his home, his memories, his stories, his dreams, his love. He didn’t turn away, though, didn’t break their gaze like he wanted to, because this was Ronan, the boy who was fierce and hard and callous but also soft and quiet and loving. He was the boy who dreamed of little goat-girls and felt a mouse’s heartbeat against his cheek. He wasn’t scared of loving Ronan anymore, the way he used to be.

 

Instead of turning away, Adam smiled and cupped Ronan’s cheek and pulled him down for another kiss. No, he wasn’t afraid anymore.


End file.
